Tag Archives: living your dreams

I DO NOT WANT A DOG

My daughter wants a dog. Bad. Like real bad. Like keeping her up late at night bad.

I do not want a dog. We have 2 cats. And I have my 10 year old Taylor. I have never in my life had a desire to have things that count on me for food and water. I’m 3 above goal. No dog.

She’s argued her case of how she will take care of EVERYTHING.

She’s argued it 63 times. It’s a good case.  But I’ve never been one to sway easily.
We’re not getting a dog.

She starts telling other folks about this dog. It’s mostly met with well-meaning adults trying to talk her out of it. I can see she is crushed by these comments. Things are mentioned like: responsibility, the expense, the work, how all kids say they will do everything, but never do.

She is especially offended by that last comment. She tells me, “I AM NOT LIKE OTHER KIDS. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT TO ME. I AM ME.” She is right.

I don’t want a dog. I can’t handle another thing on my plate. I don’t want to handle another thing on my plate. I do not want to feed and water anything or anyone. I know that’s why people close to us are trying to talk her out of the dog. They know where I’m at. They know I want less on my plate, not more.

One day, I hear a lot of dream busting over her dog. Taylor looks like she is going to cry. She doesn’t cry often.

I feel mad.

I’m an advocate for people’s dreams, for God’s sake. That’s what I do for a living. Help people live their dreams. I start getting a fire in my belly. I can’t stand when I see dreams being dismissed and spirits dampened.

And I’m acutely aware of the fact it starts in childhood. We try so hard to make sure kids know how hard “real life” is that we bust bubbles wherever we go. It’s like we’ve done our job well if we’ve taught how the “real world” works.  We constantly point out all the things that could go wrong instead of all the things that might go right.

We turn kids into adults with negative minds, low belief in self, and grown-ups afraid to try anything new. Grown-ups following safety, false security, and a mediocre life.

We start convincing and conditioning our young people that other people know more about what is right for them than they do. We do it because we are scared for them…for us. We also do it because…it’s easier for us…the parents, the schools. Let’s be honest….raising a follower, raising a conformist, raising someone who easily goes along with the masses is easy. Raising a dreamer, an independent thinker, a spirited soul, a world changer is HARD and INCONVENIENT.

When I was five, I remember being clear. I remember the oppression and repression setting in. I remember being told a lot of things I didn’t believe in. I remember my spirit getting less bright. I remember my dreams turning into “why bother”….

I don’t want a dog.

More than that…I don’t want a daughter who doesn’t know how to keep her dreams alive.

Inside battle. What do I do? I sure as heck don’t feel it’s my responsibility to ‘hand out” dreams. But I do feel it’s my responsibility to teach her how to make her own dreams come true.

I understand what I must do. Not as her Mom, but as ME, a fierce advocate for people’s dreams. I must tell and teach her what I know to be true. Despite what I want. Despite how inconvenient. It’s sacred to me that she knows how to dream bigger and HOW to be an active participant in creating her dreams.

So it went like this:
You know I don’t want a dog, right? A lot of people don’t think you should have a dog, right?  This is what I want you to remember. YOU want a dog. Don’t give up on your dream. Think about that dog every day. Dream about that dog. Believe you will have that dog.

AND… do the work to get the dog. So what’s your plan? What will you put into action? What will YOU choose to think, believe and do despite the odds. Those are the things that will determine if you get a dog.  I don’t know how it all works, but it does. It might not be next week, or next month, or next year. Maybe you’ll be 20 before you get a dog. But it’ll happen. Don’t get down. And don’t give up. If a dog is your dream, keep it alive and do what you can. Never let anyone else, including me squash your dreams.

Then I said: Here are my concerns.  The expense, interruption in my work, more work for me, and our cats being neglected. I don’t know if those will ever go away. But I can tell you what I’d do if I were in your shoes. I’d do everything in your power to help me be less concerned. How could you do that?

She started earning money. She did odd jobs. Car washing, lemonade stand, plant watering, etc. Some days she made more money than me.

She made a long list of all she would do for the dog. And the cats.

She also made a contract saying that if  I ever felt like the dog was “put on me” I’d have the right to take it back. There was a clause added that she’d at least get one warning so she could course correct. There were places for both our signatures and the date.

She worked hard. She wrote everything out. She said happily, “I’m OK if we don’t get a dog soon, when it’s right, I’ll get a dog. It’ll happen. Maybe not until next year.”

We volunteered at Angels of Assisi (I have community service work -but that’s another story). We saw all the dogs. We walked through the kennel. I touched one on the nose. I just wanted to get out of there. They were all barking. It was smelly. I don’t have that…”Oh you’re so cute, I want to take you home thing.”  I never have that.

Tay said, “Mom let’s go back. I connected with a dog. I know he’s THE ONE.” We go back. It was the only one I had touched. Tay says, “That’s my dog. I can feel his energy. We are meant to be together.” I look at that dog.  And then at all the other dogs. Then I look back at the one in front of me. Carter is his name. I never thought we’d have a dog named Carter. I never thought we’d have a dog.

Two days later we go back. Taylor hands her money over to the adoption assistant. They hand her over her dream.

Taylor says like 50 times, “I can’t believe I have a dog.”

I say, “Believe, baby girl. Always believe.” And…well done.

xo!
Hollie
Taylor and Carter
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Trusting Your Passions, Even When Others Don’t

  (5 Strategies + Some Love to Support You)

  This post was inspired by one of my readers.
And know this, I believe in YOU 100% percent.

To live an EPIC life, a life that is made up of what you love, what excites you, what makes you want to jump out of bed, and what brings great depth and meaning to your days requires great passion. Passion is the fuel for our dreams.

What we are passionate about holds the keys to our most EPIC lives.  Lives that are extraordinary, passion-filled, inspiring (to ourselves + others), and they feel “completely you” (in alignment with your greatest values!).

You MUST trust your passions. You must keep taking steps, even if small, to create the life you deeply desire.  It won’t go away. This feeling you have. Your dreams. This restlessness. This desire for more

Maybe it’s MORE:
Financial freedom, Creativity, Soul experiences, Impact in the world, Meaning, Freedom, Aliveness, Play.

Whatever it is you’re thinking, what you’re wanting – It is right for you! The question isn’t about whether it is or isn’t, or whether you should or shouldn’t, it’s about “how do I” and especially how do you when:

1. You’re broke.
2. Tired and overwhelmed.
3. Feel too much responsibility to maintain your current life.
4. Do not have support of significant other or family.
5. Are confused about exactly what you should be doing.

But you know there is MORE. You are meant for more. You’re searching. But you’re also doubting. And your current environment supports the doubting.

How do you handle it? How can you keep leaning into your dreams when you feel you do not have support from any corner?

Here are 5 Strategies + Love to Support You:

  1. Read 30 minutes to 1 hour a Day of Positive Content!
    This may sound crazy or not truly significant, but I promise if you do this daily for even a few months, your life will never be the same. Ideally, 30 minutes in the AM when you wake, and 30 minutes before you go to sleep at night. If you can’t do 30, do 15. Do whatever you can, but commit to this practice EVERY AM and PM.Let your books become your best friends and greatest sources of inspiration.I began doing this in my early twenties and can tell you it was the single most powerful factor in propelling me toward a life of success, financial abundance, and freedom. These books will lift your spirit, increase your belief in your dreams, and your belief in YOU!  They will reveal the wisdom of the ages and Universal truths to success.  They will inspire and empower you to go after your dreams.

  2. Your Top 5
    Research indicates we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with in terms of what’s in our bank accounts and in terms of our attitudes and mindsets.Become a vigilant gatekeeper to those you choose to hang out with or allow into your environment. It matters. Surround yourself with like minded folks who believe in you and who are also up to exciting things in life. You might have outgrown your friends/family and haven’t yet connected with your “new family”…don’t worry this is temporary. It can feel lonely and like “what’s wrong with me,” but trust you are stretching and growing into the person you need to become to create what you want to create. Stop trying to get others to “get you” or to be on board with your dreams. This can be so draining, frustrating, and depressing. Save your energy. Put it toward your dreams. Your responsibility is to live your passions, your best life…this is the BEST way to help those you care about. This is the best way to ensure long term success and happiness for yourself and your family. 

    This #2 is probably the hardest one. I get it. Just keep reading what is here and let it support you and know you are not alone.

  3. Find Mentors and/or Online Groups.
    It’s so easy with today’s online world to connect to the best of the best. Search out mentors or groups online. Let yourself see and experience those who are thriving, living their passions, and creating their own realities. These are the folks you want to follow and “surround” yourself with.  Let these mentors and groups be your support team. It is powerful.

  4. Stay Connected Here
    I believe in you. My mission is to help illuminate + guide others in sparking, creating, and living their most awesome lives. You ended up here because you believe your most awesome life is possible. Even if sometimes you feel a bit lost or overwhelmed.  My role is to shine the light so you can see your unique path. I’m honored to support you. Stay connected!

  5. Pick One Passion
    What topic or activity are you most drawn to right now? Don’t try to figure out your entire life today. It’s tempting, I know!  Simply think about what you truly enjoy. What is one activity that you absolutely love or a topic you find so intriguing you just can’t stop reading or studying it?  These are the things that when you are engaged in you feel “right,” you forget to eat, you feel a natural flow, and the rest of the world seems to drop away. It can be something simple, but you feel pure joy in it.Don’t try to analyze your passions or try to figure out how you can make money from them (yet). Too much pressure in that. Today pick one passion for the love and joy of it and do it! Ride your bike, rebuild your bike, cook an awesome meal, tinker, sketch out a design, read, write a little, build something, take apart something, order a book on the topic.Identify one passion, then take one action toward engaging in it today. Notice how it feels. Does this first little action spark inspiration or naturally lead you to take another step? Get into action daily with this passion or interest. Dots will begin to connect. Doors and opportunities will begin to open. You will meet certain people at certain times. You will notice things online that escaped you before.

 Magic begins to happen when you take action. 
(Small, consistent, imperfect action!)

 To wrap this baby up…I know it was a long one.

Listen to your passions. They are guideposts to your most EPIC life. Trust them.  They are on target. They are your truth.  Let your passions and deep knowing that there is “more” for you, give you the fuel you need to keep moving forward despite anything else going on in your life.  Be proactive in getting support where you need it most.

I admire your courage. I admire your struggles. I admire your dreams.

And I believe in you!

“Passion is the emotional fuel that drives your vision. It’s what you hold on to when your ideas are challenged and people turn you down, when you are rejected by ‘experts’ and the people closest to you. It’s the fuel that keeps you going when there is no outside validation for your dream.”

                                                                             ~Bill Strickland, Social Innovator
                                                                       (from The Innovation Secrets of Steve Jobs, by Carmine Gallo)

With Passion and Loads of Love + Support!

Hollie