OK my lady friends, I’m going to let you in on a secret that if you dare to try it on, you will be more confident, happier, sexier, and more in love than e-v-e-r! Whether you are single and want to attract more men into your life or you are in a relationship and simply want more zing, you must master this tantalizing tidbit!
Oh, and this has nothing to do with sexy lingerie, a stripper pole, or a skill set in bed! (OK good, the guys just clicked away!) 😉
My dear sister friend, if you want a HOT date with a man, including your own husband or significant other you must first BE a hot date!
Yep, that’s right! So exactly how do you know if you are hot date material? I’m going to give you a little test in a minute so you may get an idea of where you rate, but first let me explain a little about last night and why it was amazing!
New Year’s Eve is a big night, right? You want to do something big, or at least special, and I think we all want to spend it with that special someone and have that magical, full of hope and promise New Year’s Eve kiss at the stroke of midnight. After all, it seems that is what everyone else in the world is up to.
The evening started off perfect. My daughter was staying the night with my folks, and I had several juicy invites and options to consider…the excitement was definitely in the air. But something was off…CRAP…yep here it comes. I could hear and feel my truth bubbling up.
A thought occurred to me. I had never EVER spent a New Year’s Eve alone. Nope, not one. Now, I do spend a lot of evenings alone and I love those nights, but not a New Year’s Eve! As a child I was always with my parents, then with friends, at a party, with a significant other, or with my daughter. And yes, I have even opted on some New Year’s to spend it with someone or in a way that wasn’t all that great just to have someone or something to do on that special of special nights!
I realized that what I was desiring more than anything was to be my own smashing, hot date! I felt I wanted to give space to honor 2011, to honor myself in a deep, fulfilling way, and to be fully present in welcoming in 2012. That was it. My decision was to be home alone on New Year’s Eve. I did have a bit of a wobble….I was a teensy bit afraid that as the evening unfolded I might regret my decision and my own private New Year party might turn into a pity party! Yikes, I didn’t like that possibility. But what kept coming up stronger and stronger was that partying with myself was the right thing to do and the absolute best way for me to experience what I truly wanted out of the evening…a rich, fulfilling night and an aliveness and excitement at the core level.
So I had no other choice, the party was on. I agreed to be my own hot date!
Are You A Hot Date?
I want you to contemplate the following questions. Your answers will reveal how comfortable you are with yourself, how much lovin’ is really going on, and if you need to spice things up a bit!
When was the last time you spent an evening alone? A Friday or Saturday night completely alone and had a fabulous time? Do you always have the radio on? The TV on? Do you check emails, texts, Facebook often to avoid being, “Oh my God! Alone!” Do feel sad and lonely if you don’t have plans “out there” with someone special, either a girlfriend or with a guy? Do you feel lost, fearful, anxious at the thought of spending hours by yourself, especially in the evenings?
Here’s the deal. When you love yourself you can have a freaking great time with yourself. And when you feel that and practice it you radiate confidence (a.k.a. hotness!), beauty, and a playful spirit. Now, that my friend is mighty attractive. You will only be without a date or relationship if that is what you choose, it won’t be ’cause there aren’t’ any takers! But the best part is how this fills you up and spills over to every area of your life. It’s the secret to everything. You will no longer chase circumstances, money, things, or people on the outside to fill up what is missing on the inside. Only you can do that. Anything else is temporary and you will always operate with an under belly of fear to hang on tightly or to chase something which isn’t real in the first place. Holy Moly, when you love yourself and find YOU are fabulous company all on your own…the energy, time, and heartache saved is nothing short of life-changing.
So what if you’re not there yet? You can begin this journey to finding your true love (you!) by simply being aware. Begin to give yourself the opportunity to experience space and time alone to see what comes up for you. You may notice you are completely relaxed, joyous, and easily feel your fabulous self. It’s OK, if you don’t feel all those good things. Just acknowledge what you are feeling without judgment. Notice what is coming up and make it a point to start practicing more time alone. You can start with short amounts of time and work to extend this as you go. Start buying gifts for yourself instead of waiting for someone else to buy them. Allow more self care because you deserve it. Take care of your appearance. It drives me nuts when I hear a woman say that she’s not putting on make up, dressing well, or fixing her hair because no one is going to see her. YOU are someone. You are going to see you and you are the one that matters. Come on, don’t you feel more radiant, confident, and alive when you look in the mirror and see a sexy hot mamma looking back at ya?! Start tapping into your passions and allow yourself more creativity and pleasure in your time alone. In my opinion there is nothing more attractive and hot than a woman (or a man!) who is living her passions with passion. Before long you will begin to notice a feeling of centeredness at your core, you will notice people find you more interesting….heck, you find you more interesting.
Face it, at this point, you’re unbelievably lovable and hot!
Now, I did work the party last night and mingle with others. I sent out some love and well wishes via email and text. I received love and well wishes via Facebook. I hung out with Jenny McCarthy, Ryan Seacrest, and Dick Clark for a bit. But I always couldn’t wait to back to my own hot self! We had champagne, ate hot buttery popcorn, did some writing and visioning, and at the stroke of midnight we blew a kiss and a blessing out into the world and felt it’s sweet return. It couldn’t have been more perfect.
Here’s to True Love and a Hot 2012!